FEB 4, 12 .. PONDICHERRY ..

As most of you know.. this is a PHOTO web site .. BUT .. from time to time ..  I need to express some thoughts in text form ..


And .. this writing is .. ABOUT PHOTOS here in India ..


It is about the PHOTOS you will NEVER SEE because they were NEVER TAKEN .. because to have taken them would have some negative aspects .. an invasion of a very personal or a very private scene .. Om Pragash's funeral in 1996 as an example .. the sadness that .. to have photographed a certain scene .. would have been just too sad and troubling ..


But ALL OF MY UNTAKEN PHOTOS REMAIN IN MY MIND GOING BACK TO November of 1990 and my first trip here to India .. and MANY OF THEM STILL HAUNT ME ..


Here are a few 'for instance' examples ..


Yesterday .. Friday the 3rd of February .. I was on a one-day .. Pondicherry Government Sponsored Tour .. for 200 rupees (only ! like they love to say here in India) I joined nine others for the day .. 


At one stop on our tour .. I was alone on the bus having opted NOT to join the group for a speed boat ride of ten minutes costing 70 rupees ..


In the door of the bus appeared a small beggar girl .. around her neck hung two small drums affixed to one another (I would call them 'bongo' drums) .. blue in color .. and in her small hands were two drum sticks ..  I would guess her to have been age 9 or 10 .. she looked up at me and began to tenderly 'bang' on her little blue drums .. she did not have any drum-skill so-to-speak .. she just hit at her little blue drums with no real rhythm .. 


I looked down at her and .. making eye-to-eye contact .. (at least I did that !) ..  I gently smiled at her .. and I felt oh-so-very-VERY sad ..


Back now to November of 1990 .. my first days ever in India .. I arrived October 31st of 1990 I think .. 


Almost immediately (well during my first weeks) I was approached by five small beggar children  .. so I purchased five packages of cookies .. each package having five or six cookies ..  and gave one package of cookies to each child .. off they dashed and I continued on my way .. 


Almost INSTANTLY .. let's say in two minutes to be realistic .. I was surrounded by a small crowd of about twenty or so of these children .. so I bought some more packages of cookies .. and opening them up .. I gave one cookie to each child .. and off they dashed and onward I continued and ..


Again .. within a few minutes .. WHAT IS THIS ! .. I was again surrounded by about thirty of these children ..


I smiled and this time I 'waived them all off' .. they were not about to leave and things got a bit ugly with them DEMANDING cookies ..


Let's do a quick mathematics lesson here .. let's say each beggar child weighed forty (40) pounds .. let's say ten beggar children grabbed onto each of my two forearms and wrists .. do you realize that I would then have four hundred (400) pounds holding onto each of my two arms ! and I would be effectively IMMOBILIZED ! 


And in the instant .. others would go into my pockets and with amazing skill search out whatever they could find .. one time one threw sand into my face .. 


Luckily Uncle Sam's United States Marine Corps taught me to 'react instantly' at being touched or grabbed .. and they taught me what to do .. INSTANTLY you make a fist with each hand .. and you draw each fist up to your chest WHILE twisting each wrist bringing them inward toward each other .. left wrist twisting counter clockwise and right wrist twisting clockwise ..


Here then is the REAL problem .. you are now 'marked' by the beggar community and you can NOT go out onto the street without this gang of beggar children accosting you .. one girl (I can 'see' her face to this day!) was the leader of one particular pack of children .. the day I finally laid a knife up against her throat and screamed into her face (another Marine Corps technique.. the voice..) THAT STOPPED HER ACTIVITY COLD ! .. I am POSITIVE God of Abraham was NOT pleased with me that day ! but they wear you down .. 


So sad little girl with your sad little blue bongo drums and your two sad drums sticks .. I wanted to snap a photo of you but to do so would have been too painful and YOU would then have wanted .. no you would have DEMANDED MONEY for the photo .. and I am so SORRY that I could not help you .. I kind of wish I had but had I done so .. given you money and snapped your photo .. that risked setting into motion the above scenario !  more and more children .. 


And I can not be all things to all beggars at all times in all places ..


Once .. at 5AM .. in a dark Calcutta Alley on the way to Mother Teresa's Mission I was confronted  by a very nice looking very elderly beggar man .. a very kind looking man .. so I handed to him a ten (10) rupee note .. he looked me in the eyes and firmly said .. "More" .. and as he said "More" out of the shadows appeared a young threatening man .. I pulled my knife in a New York second and they disappeared into the early morning Calcutta mist ..


This last chokes me up like the girl with her blue drums .. again .. a little girl .. 


Here in 'Pondi' the other evening after-dark a Marriage Procession was going up the street .. a band and the bride up in a chariot of sorts .. every one 'dressed to the nines' ..


I saw a small little beggar girl watching wide-eyed and I thought .. "Oh Honey .. I hope you do not think that one special someday YOU will be that bride up in YOUR chariot .."


Oh these poor small children just work their way into my heart and my soul .. and they have no clue they are so doing .. 


Oh yes .. so very many photos in my mind .. NEVER snapped yet haunting me .. very troubling ..  


Further words simply fail me.. with love.. cap..

Isn't Google just wonderful .. enter a word .. even mis-spelled .. and it will give you the correct spelling and a million hits to tell you about the word .. I captured this lad right in front of the internet cafe here  .. and just now this wonderful Pachyderm said .. "Dad.. slip me into this post .. I will 'lighten it up' a bit for you and some of your readers will smile-a-smile having themselves seen an elephant on their local street just a few hours ago ! " .. This is why I love India in spite of the many troubling spiritual issues present here ..